Who Thinks About Thinking?


”If you draw inaccurate conclusions about who you are and what you’re capable of doing, you’ll limit your potential.”

Your mind is very powerful. Yet, if you’re like most people, you probably spend very little time reflecting on the way you think. After all, who thinks about thinking?

But, the way you think about yourself turns into your reality. If you draw inaccurate conclusions about who you are and what you’re capable of doing, you’ll limit your potential.

I see this happen all the time in my therapy office. Someone will come in saying, “I’m just not good enough to advance in my career.” That assumption leads her to feel discouraged and causes her to put in less effort. That lack of effort prevents her from getting a promotion.

Or, someone will say, “I’m really socially awkward.” So when that individual goes to a social gathering, he stays to in the corner by himself. When no one speaks to him, it reinforces his belief that he must be socially awkward.


Your Beliefs Get Reinforced: –Once you draw a conclusion about yourself, you’re likely to do two things; look for evidence that reinforces your belief and discounts anything that runs contrary to your belief.

Someone who develops the belief that he’s a failure, for example, will view each mistake as proof that he’s not good enough. When he does succeed at something, he’ll chalk it up to luck.

Consider for a minute that it might not be your lack of talent or lack of skills that are holding you back. Instead, it might be your beliefs that keep you from performing at your peak.

Creating a more positive outlook can lead to better outcomes. That’s not to say positive thoughts have magical powers. But optimistic thoughts lead to productive behaviour, which increases your chances of a successful outcome.


Challenge Your Conclusions: –Take a look at the labels you’ve placed on yourself. Maybe you’ve declared yourself incompetent. Or perhaps you’ve decided you’re a bad leader.

Remind yourself that you don’t have to allow those beliefs to restrict your potential. Just because you think something, doesn’t make it true.

The good news is, you can change how you think. You can alter your perception and change your life. Here are two ways to challenge your beliefs:

• Look for evidence to the contrary. Take note of any times when your beliefs weren’t reinforced. Acknowledging exceptions to the rule will remind you that your belief isn’t always true.


• Challenge your beliefs. Perform behavioural experiments that test how true your beliefs really are. If you think you’re not good enough, do something that helps you to feel worthy. If you’ve labelled yourself too wimpy to step outside of your comfort zone, force yourself to do something that feels a little uncomfortable.

With practice, you can train your brain to think differently. When you give up those self-limiting beliefs, you’ll be better equipped to reach your greatest potential.

”Self Worth: Why You Need To Value Yourself More ”

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.” ~ Mark Twain


Self-respect is fundamental to a great life. If we lack self-respect we will be insecure and strive to be someone we are not. To develop self-respect means to cultivate the self-confidence to deal with whatever life throws at us. The following are some ways we can improve our self-respect. Remember, self-respect comes from an inner belief and not an egoistic feeling of superiority.

1. Be True to Yourself

There is great social pressure from parents, work and society to become a certain person and to achieve certain things. It is a pressure hard to detach from. But, a real self-respect only comes from being true to our inner calling. It is important you have faith in your own values and remember what is important to you. Just because other people think you should behave in a certain way, doesn’t mean they are right. Everyone needs to follow their own path. Even if others don’t respect your decision it is important that you do. Just ask yourself whether you come into the world to please Tom, Dick, and Harry or live your own life?


2. Learn to Handle Criticism

We are sensitive beings. Nobody likes criticism and when we are criticized, either directly or indirectly, we feel bad about yourself – even if the criticism is not justified. To maintain a sense of self-respect, we need to learn how to deal with criticism. Don’t take criticism personally. Look at it from a detached perspective. Maybe it is false, in which case we should ignore it. If there is some truth, we can use it to develop our character. However, it is important not to take criticism too personally. Just because we are not very good at a particular task, doesn’t mean we need to lose our self-respect.

3. Look After Your Appearance, Without Being a Slave to Fashion


Our appearance is important. It can give us confidence or it can make us feel awkward. Take care of our appearance; dressing smartly for the right occasion gives us self-confidence. At the same time, we don’t want to be the slave of fashion trends. Dress for your own benefit; don’t dress in the expectation of pleasing others and receiving compliments.

4. Avoid Jealousy

Jealousy of other people’s success is a common way of losing our happiness and self-respect. Jealousy is simply envy of other people’s success. We feel miserable that we cannot enjoy their success. Sometimes it can even lead us to knock the other person. If we follow this path of jealousy we will definitely lose our sense of self-respect. When we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, we are saying our self-respect depends on being better than others. But, the truth is, there will always be some people more successful than yourself. The trick to lasting self-respect is to be happy with others success. We should never feel that other people’s success in any way diminishes our self-worth.

5. Remember your Motivation, Not Results

respect whatsapp status 2016

Sometimes we work with best of motives and the best of intentions only to be disappointed by the outcome. The problem is that we equate our self-respect to outer displays of wealth, success and social standing. It is the nature of life, that things will not turn out as we hoped, but, it is a mistake to link our sense of self-worth to the achievement of external targets. Self-respect comes when we value our attitude to life and other people. Even if things go bad don’t lose your self-respect. Work with the best of intentions and gain your self-respect from that.

6. Respect Others

If you have no respect for others, how can you have self-respect? Self-respect means we have an inner confidence and inner assurance, but this is not a confidence built on superiority. It is the wrong approach to try and feel better by putting others down. If we look for the good qualities in other people, it is easier to remember the good qualities in ourselves.


7. Never Hate Yourself

We make mistakes, we may do the wrong thing, but we should never put ourselves down unnecessarily. If we are not careful we start bitterly regretting things and even disliking ourselves. We should never hate our self, it is very destructive. Listen to your conscience, but, don’t be too hard on yourself and feel burdened with guilt.

8. Forgive

Forgive others and forgive yourself. Don’t live in the past, but, move on from past mistakes and difficult situations. If your mind is occupied with problems from the past, you will always feel guilty and unworthy. Don’t allow your self-worth to be determined by past mistakes.

9. Be Selfless


The way to self-respect is not through a bloated sense of pride; this is a false type of self-respect. We may think that the praise of others boosts our self-respect, but, actually, this praise creates a vulnerable ego. If our self-respect is based on the praise of others then our self-respect will be very tenuous. Self-respect should not be dependent on the praise of others; it should be independent of others praise.

10. Don’t Keep up With the Joneses

You will not be able to build self-respect if you are permanently striving to impress others with outer displays. People who are impressed with material wealth and social standing are probably the kind of people not worth impressing anyway. Be comfortable with what you have, not what you think will impress others.